I have a hankering. I’m feeling a strong desire, right now, and that desire is to grab loot at the expense of myself and others.
I’ve heard that this Zavix Tower place in the town of Vervenboop has loot, and lots of it. What’s more, I hear there are folks like me just sitting there waiting for the moment when they can ascend the tower and murder some monsters and grab some of their precious, precious loot.
First, there’s Bedow the Rogue. I don’t trust rogues. I worry that once I get my treasure, they’ll just steal it away from me and cackle all the way back to the tavern where they’ll brag about their monstrous deeds. Fortunately, I’ve sized up Bedow, and he’s kind of a weak little nothing. Good for a laugh, though. That’s something I’ll need when walking around killing things.
Next, there’s Loofah the mage. What a flippin’ weirdo. I mean, she’s enchanted her eyes to have no color! Who does that? And she’s got a case of RBF that’ll melt your soul. I mean, you HAVE to have that kind of badass mentality in your party. That’s just Adventuring 101. And believe me, I’ve passed adventuring 101 with flying colors… in the school of hard knocks, baby!
Let’s not forget Jerald the Priest. Sadly, you have to have a priestly type in your little group. I mean, don’t forget to check his or her credentials, because the LAST thing you want is to have some jerk-ass Priest on your hands that will not only give you a guilt complex about the way you life your life, BUT they couldn’t heal a paper cut if you gave them the salve to do it. Luckily, Jerald’s AA rated (we couldn’t afford the AAA guy).
And then, of course, there’s me: little ol’ Blargarine. But if you ever call me “Little Ol’” to my face, I’ll kick your nether-quarters to the Nether-lands. And that may or may not be very far from Vervenboop. I’ve not yet seen a map, as such.